Stream of Consciousness: Day 1

Disclaimer: I will be getting quite philosophical in this entry. Do not be alarmed.

New years have such an essence of beginnings. They give us comfort for the upcoming times ahead of us.

What really is a new year, though? After all, time is a manmade construct that allows us to measure our own existence and the events that occur within that span. Originally made for convenience and assistance, it has integrated itself into our lives so much that without it, we would find ourselves lost. Of course, not everyone feels that way, but the vast majority of us do. I certainly have felt this up until this point in my life.

Time has developed a love/hate relationship with humankind. It aids us, yet also wounds us. We all feel such pressure to meet deadlines and beat the clock. We MUST live meaningful, busy lives or we are meaningless, and to not have meaning in the world is the worst thing to happen to someone. We do not need this beginning phrase to form a new life or goal. We have the ability to do that within ourselves. Time does not hold that power. We do. New beginnings happen every single day. Every few seconds of every day, a child is born into this world. People get life changing jobs or marry the love of their life. Miracles and new beginnings are always near.

Regardless of all of this, however, I do have some new year’s resolutions. And may I say, it is completely okay to have new year’s resolutions. I have created 5 major goals that I intend to accomplish this year:

1.) Read and/or write every single day

2.) Graduate culinary school

3.) Lose 60 pounds by exercising and eating better

4.) Create more art in whatever shape or form I desire

5.) Find something to be grateful for every single day

Hopefully, this blog will help me keep track of all of these goals. I may or may not post my daily writings on here. They may be here; in a journal; on my laptop; hell, maybe even on a restaurant napkin if an idea strikes me in the moment. I really want to focus on myself this year. I mean, Donna and Tom knew that this was the year to do it.

treatyoself

In conclusion, if you do not get anything else from my stream of consciousness, remember this: do not hold back a dream or desire until a single day in a year. Do it right now. Make it happen right now. You don’t have to wait. Create the life that you want to live RIGHT NOW. Do it. I triple dog dare you.

Picking up the Pen Again

It’s official. Writing and I are getting back together.

After years of arguing and flirting with each other, I finally said yes to all of its pleas to come back to them. However, this is far from a toxic relationship.

For a majority of my childhood, writing was my major source for all my creativity. I developed and remastered my own universe within a world of cruelty and darkness. When society screamed and hollered, I curled up to my desk and painted a terrain for me and me alone. I ran with fairies; fought vampires; fell in love with handsome princes and beautiful princesses; trained dragons; traveled the world; and I simply created. Writing was my partner in crime, and I didn’t ever want to lose them.

Then, suddenly, we were spending less and less time together. I finally reached high school. Homework and hallway gossip clouded my mind, blocking my creative veins. Writing and I drifted apart slowly. Less and less did my creative juices flow. I forced my energy into the real-world issues around me. I used my full schedule as an excuse to not write as much. “You’re always moving and doing things…you deserve some free time!” While I did need some relaxation and soothing moments, I look back now and regret not utilizing my writer’s hand more often in my secondary school years. I think of my darkest moments in life and how I may have conquered it a bit easier if I wrote a poem or a chapter of a book or simply wrote what I was feeling. My own little world floated away to the back corners of my mind, and it went unnoticed more and more.

I’ve finally decided- enough is enough. I am diving head first into the world of Writing once again, and I am ready for anything. Whether 5 people read this or 500 people read this, I just want to create. I want to feel the cramp in my hand from the swift, constant stroke of the pen. I want my eyes to dark across the page as I revise a freshly made piece of work. I want to feel the relief and accomplishment of finishing a novel or poem or short story.

I want to write. And that is exactly what I am going to do once again.